Questions & Needles

If you have found your way here from my Instagram account, then you have likely seen my posts about my health. It’s a dominant factor in my life these days as many people are already aware.

I’ve decided to move my updates into the blog from my Instagram so it’s a bit more accessible to people like my parents. They’ve gotten a few phone calls since my last post and have wondered what on earth i am sharing with the internet.

I document this journey selfishly. I want to be able to track what happens, knowing that there is a chance that I will not retain it. My psychologist is also encouraging of journaling more and of tracking how things are going. I won’t be doing it all publicly but there is quite a bit that I am willing to share.

These days I am seeing new things slipping. My vision is the most dominant one. My right eye struggles to focus often which can make it tough to read and to sometimes my depth perception is off. It’s always worse near the end of the day.

I have tried to get back into fitness. I went to a Pilates class and could hardly hold my balance and the room felt like it was spinning as my eyes start to blur. My friend who was instructing mentioned that she was worried a bit watching me struggle through.

I’ve been tracking my good v. bad days and the bad are starting to out number the good. Especially with my memories and my eyes.

Luckily I head back to the doctor next week. Get to see what is next in this journey. I am hoping it will include some kind of test that can tell us what the heck is going on.

It has been assumed that it’s a psychological issue but the more support and stability that I have with my psyche, the more things seem to be slipping.

All of that said, there are certainly positive things to consider. When you don’t remember things you get to have a fresh start. I get the sense from people that I am less fearful in my actions. I go more by the facts than by my previous experiences. I also get to see things with fresh eyes and it can be pretty exciting depending on what i am experiencing.

There are also some really good people in my life who have been pretty understanding when I ask them stupid questions. Sometimes i get a mental image or something and I don’t know if it is a fragment of a memory or just my mind putting random things together. I usually end up asking people if it makes any sense to them or not.

As the title of this post eludes, there have been some needles in my life. I’ve been doing a lot of acupuncture! My experience the last few months in doing it has been pretty neat. One of my old childhood friends is the one doing it for me and she is a wizard. It took a few sessions before I really started to feel anything happening. Now I get mental images, physical sensations, and I have much more awareness of my energy and where it is within my body. Now I look forward to going and seeing what happens. It also makes my body feel well rested which is a bonus. It’s a wonderful reprieve and I cannot say enough good things about it. I am learning about my body is ways that I don’t think I had even fathomed before.

I’ve decided that I need to focus more of what energy I have on things that are more developmental. Instead of worrying about my mind, I try to build it by working on projects or even playing memory games. I have thrown myself into more with Inferno Fitness (local hot pilates studio), and into helping support some of my friends with their endeavors and small businesses. It’s been keeping me pretty busy during evenings and weekends. I even sat in on a Tony Robbins’ webinar this week. Seems like a better choice than worrying – just hope that I don’t let anyone down by forgetting something. I write down as much as I can to avoid that.

Well that’s it for me today. I should work on getting this website updates. Bring it into this decade haha. I do think that life can be lovely, so the URL still works too šŸ™‚

Thanks for popping over to see how things are going!

K.

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